Why I Love My Job

When I got hired on the library security crew at the BYU Library, I was very hesitant about wearing that oh-so-flattering uniform. But, money was slim, so I wore the uniform and went to work. Well, over 2 1/2 years later, and I'm telling you that I would gladly wear this uniform for all the experiences I've had here!

But Julene, why would you wear that embarrassing uniform, it's SO masculine! Well first and foremost, the first time Chris talked to me was while I was wearing this uniform. While Chris and I were in the same ward during our single years, I had never actually talked to him until I stopped to talk to him and a mutual friend while they were both studying in the library together. After I was done visiting them, I went on my way to patrol the library, and Chris asked our mutual friend for my phone number. That night ended with a ride home from Chris, 2 hours of talking and getting to know Chris, and a date planned for that Saturday (awe!). Basically, I owe my marriage to this job!

Now-a-days, Chris works with me at the library. We try to work all the same shifts together, which is a great blessing in our lives! We have so much fun at work together, and enjoy sitting across from each other at each security desk, being connected through gmail chat.

I also love getting my daily laugh from the people that walk into the library. Everyone that walks in thinks that the sign above my head that says "University Police" actually means "Information Desk". So we get the best questions ever! Below is a list of actual questions that we have been asked while working:

Where is the education building? (Um, this is a University, education is going on in nearly every building)

(Pointing to the old section): Is the Library that way? (The entire building is the library, not just southern part of the building)

Where are the door numbers? (My guess would be right next to each door, but I've been wrong before)

Are ALL the bathrooms in the library closed? (My guess is only the bathrooms with a "closed" sign are going to be the ones that are closed)

Wait, so I can’t get to the south classrooms through there? (The only entrance and exit is at the front of the building, where security is, but thanks for checking to see if you couldsneak books out another way)

Do you still have tickets to the Orson Scott Card thing? (Security people usually don't sell tickets, this is a library, and am I suppose to know which Orson Scot Card "thing" you are talking about?)

There’s an Orson Scott card speech today in the first floor auditorium, do you know where that is? (I think you just answered your own question, buddy)

Which way to the atrium? (You're totally standing in it)

Do you know where the Orson Scott Card thing is? (Days after it was over.)

How do you get to Panda Express? (Cars work well for that sort of thing)

“I think one of the elevators is stuck.” Which one? “The one right there.” (pointing to the elevator with the sign that reads ‘elevator is broken’) Thank you ma’m, here’s your sign.

Patron: Do you guys have any gold plates?

Sec: No, just the bronze ones.

Patron: someone told me they had gold plates on display somewhere.

Sec: nope, just the bronze ones right behind you.

Patron: are you sure they’re not in some special vault hidden somewhere

Sec: (thinking if they are hidden they are not on display you frickin moron) No sir, just the bronze ones right behind you.

Two people go through 3m’s and the alarm goes off. “could you please walk through one at a time so that we can see who it is?” Both walk back through at the same time.

Can you tell me where the library is? (Classic)

Is this where we buy souvenirs? (No, but feel free to check out our wide collection of our very own BYU books!)

Have you guys had any backpacks turned in? -No, where did you last have it? - It was on my back.

Can you tell me which button I push to go down on the elevator?

714 (one of our officers): Who is the book checked out to?

Patron: me (big stupid grin)

714: what is your name, retard!!!!!

Patron: What part is the Library?

Officer: This is the library

Patron: But where can I study?

Where are the books? (This is a library, so probably everywhere)

How do I go up? ( Well, if you like, we have our stairs, our elevators, or there is our complimentary magic carpet near the back of the building)

Security talking to the patron who reported an individual looking at porn: "Sir, he wasn't looking at porn, it was an online dating website with some pictures of people in bikinis at the beach" Patron: "Okay, so what constitutes porn then?"

Patron with an awful lisp: “Excuse me, is this the ESC the Science building?”

“I usually park in the visitor’s parking on Saturday’s but I noticed that your faculty parking lot signs say Monday-Friday, so can I park in those lots on Saturdays?”

Hi, can you please tell me where all the people are? (The people that are all around you, or the people that you hear in your head?)

"So if we can have food in a certain part of the library, but the food places in the wilk are only open till 8pm, what do you suggest we do?" ( Do you want me to do your homework for you too?)

Besides getting my daily laugh from people, my job is on campus, which means I can literally walk from my classroom the next building away, and come right on to work.

I also get to walk if I want to, which guarantees at least 40 minutes of a good fast walk.

Chris and I are pretty good friends with a lot of the police officers on campus, which has proven to be very useful in the past!

I get to see what is in fashion for the season as BYU's fake-bake barbie dolls parade in with the brand new clothes bought with their parents' money (and I make a mental note to never wear that).

I get to see and talk with my friends on a daily basis!

For BYU standards, the library security position is one of the highest paying student jobs on campus, and after about 6 raises it starts to make quite the difference.

I get to blast loud and awesome music every night the last 15 minutes of closing the library. Blasting music throughout the entire library makes sure people actually leave haha.

Working Stadium of Fire... a love hate relationship. It is an all-day event, so I am on my feat all day, but I get to tell cool stories of guarding famous people backstage like Glen Beck, Miley Cyrus, SheDaisy, the Blue Man Group, and the Jonas Brothers. (and this year will be Carrie Underwood)

Hearing all of my boss's cool SWAT stories. I've come to call this "story time with Matt".

Having a tour of all the underground tunnels all over campus... crazy!

Being pepper sprayed, it sucks at the time, but it makes for a cool item to bring up while playing the game "2 truths, 1 lie".

Working with an extended family. I have been working with most of these people for more than 2 1/2 years, so we are all like family

We have our annual Halloween training in the basement of the library... basically all the lights are turned off and we are split in teams with one flashlight per team, and we run around trying to find as many scary pictures that were taped up as possible. Team who rounded up the most wins!

Potluck training meetings. This happens twice a year, we watch a movie, sign up for shifts, and our boss's wife usually brings some AWESOME food, like bbq ribs and yummy meatballs!

The occasional adrenaline rush. This is when there is a fire alarm (don't particularly appreciate the loud ear-piercing sound, but it definitely makes the day go by faster), or when one of our "BYU's most wanted" people walk into the library, we spot them, and BYU police comes to take them away again.

BYU at Halloween time. Everyone comes into the library. So I get to see a very wide variety of awesome costumes. I once saw a dad dressed as one of the ghost busters, and in the stroller was his baby dressed as the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man. I have also seen a group of people dressed as different Tetris blocks, and they would walk around and pause every now and then to assemble and fit together.

The atrium during winter time. When it snows, the atrium has snow all over and around it, so it's like I'm inside a giant igloo!

The atrium during any other season. There are beautiful trees and flower beds right outside and through the window, so all i have to do is turn my head to look at the scene!

Undercover work. Occasionally, our officers will take turns roving the library in plain clothes instead of uniforms. We catch a lot of stuff this way!

In our locker room, we each have individual lockers with an individualized movie poster with our heads photo shopped in. Chris made them for everyone. Chris's poster is the Gladiator movie with is head instead of Russel Crowe's, and mine is the Tomb Raider poster with my head instead of Angelina Jolie's. We had some fun making all of them for everyone.

This is all that I can think of from the top of my head. But in a nutshell, yes, I love my job, and no, I am not going to leave it anytime soon!